A long drive to meet someone Dear

Sarcasm and laughter

Hugs & Kisses

Energies connect

Reacquainting each other

Exploring the strangeness of the basement

Glaring eyes and unhappy faces

Yet its ok cuz our connection to each other is present

Music picks up the pace

Bodies move and loosen up the spirits

Connected yet apart

Back upstairs, the mood is lighter

People are laughing and mingling

Butter Nipples enhance an already cheerful mood

The dance begins

Spirits intertwine while the bodies move

Apart

Then slowly coming together

Touching

Like 2 snakes woven in a dance

Hair is mangled like 2 lions after a hunt

More good hearted laughter

Music begins its feverish tempo

Grabbing, dipping, spinning, pushing, pulling

The stalking commences

Meeting like to hunters

Growling as they enter inside each other spaces

All the while grinning at the shear pleasure of it all

Challenges get voiced

Yelling and boosting begin

Chaos erupts into laughter

Salty sweat flies

As the pace yet quickens again

To climax in a sweaty ball of entangled energy

The night winds down and bodies cool off

There is a brief moment of unguarded openness

A gentle sweetness

And a most endearing hug

Haunted by the hollowness of being lonely

Driven Mad by a world with no Sense

A world where Priests Rape

Preaches sell God like used car sales people

Yet I have heard “MESSAGES” delivered by a drunk

Been Taught Honor and Wisdom from a liar and thief

Consumed by Desires and Fear

Spinning out of control

As the car hits 150mph

With bends and turns unattainable at such a speed

A meteor accelerating through space

Entering an asteroid belt

It’s Size and Mass substantial enough to survive

But not without heavy losses

As it bounces and ricochets off asteroids

Spinning out of control

It’s original course permanently altered

Stone against stone

Smashing

Changing rotation

Changing direction

Pieces are blasted away from impact

I have no God

Other then Life and Art

No prayer other then CREATION and LIVING

In times of trouble and darkness

I turn to art and creation for my salvation

With each line that is written

With each piece of wood cut away

Each photograph taken

Prayers of desperation

Tears of mourning

Screams of AGONY

For a poor lost soul

Asking for Forgiveness

Pleading for Attention

Begging for Connection

Cuffing and chaining the beast

Leather straps

Arms, Legs, Wrists, Ankles, Chest, Throat, Head

Bound and gagged

As the power tries to unleash ITSELF

Walking along peacefully

Till my nose picks up the scent of a WOMEN

or seeing a pretty face or sexy figure

Then some chemical shift transpires

Like Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, or man to Werewolf

One sniff or one glimpse

and the eyes roll back in my head

Taking in a deep breath

and some ancient primal power is awakened

RIPPING AND GRAWING

at restraints set in place keeping the beast at bay

Desire clashes against believes

Need clashes against will

Passion clashes against fear

Pushing and pulling

Chains taunt,

leather stretching

will and spirit snapping

Like a Vampire closing in on his prey

His senses feeling the excited heart rate

Driving him almost mad till he quenches his thirst

with her young sweet blood

Love hurts like no punch can deliver

Love cuts like no knife or sword can cut

Love injures like 2 trains colliding

Love is an inescapable can of flesh eating worms

It’s only a matter of time, before darkness sets in

Love is the juicy red apple

Drawing you in

Infecting you

Pulling you deeper and deeper

Loves poison is that the farther you go in

The more intense the pain

Love will always leave in the end

In the end

Death will always claim his prize

Uncertain of my hearts ability to coupe

with loss of connection.

Trying to remain Strong

or is it hiding.

The agonizing pain of loss!

If no one matters

the loss of connection is not so bad and life goes on.

When rivers run deep, and there is a sever

The floods are so overwhelming they are debilitating.

At night I try to be strong

I just say,

“Go to sleep, to fight another day.

Every night I die alittle bit more each night

As the loneliness Monster claims his prize

Home sick for a place I have never been before

Some kinda feeling like there should be a place

A place that I have never felt

I wish I could click my heels together and say

There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home

I wouldn’t know what to imagine while I did it

How lost one must fell if a genie appeared before me

Willing to grant me 3 wishes!

I wouldn’t know what to say

I want to go home…..

A home I have never seen

A home I have never experienced

Lost in a foreign land

No energy, no presence

Looking for a dark ally

A hole to crawl into

A place to die….

What is life if you have no friends

Nobody ever stops by to say hello

To see how you are doing or what you have been up to

What kinda world is it when your phone never rings???

EMPTYNESS, LONELYNESS

Days, weeks, months, years pass with little to no meaning

Time speeds by all the while life is like a grey overcast day that never lifts

The kinda life that the warmth of the sun never touches

The kinda life that is cursed with everyday medoracty

Endless screams of agony, pain and aloness

The day is grey

Rain is falling like tears rolling down my cheek

CRYING

The loss of unfulfilled dreams and desires

LONELYNESS

Lying on the couch

No one to caress my hair

No one to help me bandage my wounds

No one's lips to touch my lips

No one to call, to play and create with

EMPTYNESS

My soul aches to be inspired

My soul longs for companionship

Looking outside my window

Watching my dreams and desires falling from the sky

Cars pass by driving over them

People walk by stepping on them

Crying, alone in my room

Looking out the window

Hoping and dreaming

That somewhere in the earth

There are flowers that will GROW…..

Is a kiss just a kiss??

I thought so

I was trying to dance towards her

she kept dancing away

Don't know why she finally said yes

Maybe it was my gentle open way about me

Maybe it was my persistence

or maybe just something in the air

We danced!

Moving closer, moving away

Lightly brushing against each other

Thinking to myself, this is not going to happen

Looks like we will just say good night…..

But then a slight sift in body position

Maybe a moment of openness??

hhhmmmm………

No pulling back, no pushing away

I rub my head against hers like a lion looking for affection

I gaze at her for a moment

Then ever so slightly moving closer

Brushing my cheek against her cheek

Running my fingers thru her hair

Our lips barely touching

Tongues gently tasting

All the oxygen in my body escaped me

I don't remember exactly what happened

I think time had stopped

Hours passed without notice

ENTRANCED!!!

All I saw were her eyes, her lips

All I felt was her touch, her KISS

I could have been anywhere in the world and nowhere…..

Everything beyond us was out of focus, or didn't exist

All I cared for was THAT MOMENT

All I wanted WAS THAT KISS!!!!!!!!

A chance electronic meeting and the courage to explore the connection

A week of magic

Shared pleasures, open honest caring and caressing

Then distance

Weeks and months

The bugs and worms of insecurity eating away at me

Trying to ware me down

What the hell happened in that week?

How is it that after that magical week my life seemed lacking and empty

My apartment looked different

Shadows lengthen

Darkness encircles my body

PAIN!

Bare knuckled fists

Hitting and hitting

Beating the body

Violently changing my existence

Immobilized in a cocoon of pain and torment

Anguish and fear

Unaware of the rebuilding transpiring as I died every night

Screaming in agony as the heart is ripped and torn apart

Only to be opened up and expanded and filled with love and longing

Arising from the ashes a FLAMING PHOENIX

Being reborn with HEART MAGIC

Body, mind and spirit stronger from enduring

Seeing the power of love

I seek to spread it, pulling those close to me closer

Sharing and caring in ways never thought possible for me